“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Luke 1:38
I have a hard time wrapping my brain around Mary’s story. Not because it’s fantastical (although it is). Not because she was so young (which she was). But because even though she doesn’t understand how, she accepts it and says simply “I am the Lord’s servant.”
I’ve been trying to do that. Trying to let go of who I was and simply let God’s love flow in and through me so I can be His servant.
It’s easy when I’m driving down the road singing happy Jesus songs. I’s easy when I have just finished praying.
It’s not so easy when I’m frustrated or overwhelmed. Then I revert back to the not-always-very-nice version of me. I have to stop and remind myself that I’m made new and I have to keep God’s love forefront in my heart at all times.
If I have an unkind thought, I try to remember to pray for that person and myself. I’m working on guarding my tongue better. I’m working on being a better person and not putting my own desires before God’s desires for me.
It has to be one of the hardest things I’ve done. I’m tired and frustrated with my job so I’m slipping more than I like. I know I should stop and focus on God when that happens but I don’t always remember.
That tells me that I’m not trusting Him. I’m not being His servant – I’m forgetting God and focusing on my mundane stuff. He’s seen me through almost 50 years on this earth and hasn’t failed me yet, right?
It’s a definite struggle to be God’s servant. To trust Him and let myself be filled with His love. It’s easy to get swept up in the day to day tasks. I haven’t been in the habit of talking with God when I’m being pushed for many years, so I’m trying to get back into that routine.
And I try to remember Mary’s story – how her life was changed completely by God and she did nothing more than accept it and trust Him.
For today I will focus on that and try to be God’s servant and put His will above my own desires.
Lord, help me remember to trust You throughout my day. When I doubt myself, help me turn to You for strength. When unkind thoughts cross my mind, help me remember to pray for that person instead. I am Your servant and there is no greater blessing possible for any of us. Thank You for all You do and have done, God. You are incredible. Amen.