But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (Isaiah 43:1)
“Karoline, do you know that you are beloved by God?”
That was the question my spiritual advisor asked me when we last met. I responded that I knew it in my head but not always in my heart. Her homework for me this month was to spend time meditating and praying on my beloved-ness.
I’ve spent this time reading and reflecting on God’s love and how hard it is to understand and accept it. I’m broken in so many ways. I struggle with patience and anger. I get jealous of others. How can God love me? Does he really really truly love me?
I dove deeper into the Bible and went back to Job.
Then Job replied to the Lord:
“I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know. (Job 40:1-3)
I sat with those verses for a while, contemplating how unfathomable God is. Then I realized where I was making the mistake. See, it’s not my job to try and understand how and why God loves someone like me. It’s my job to TRUST that he does. That is the most freeing realization I’ve come to in a long time.
I trust God completely. I know I’m full of flaws but he loves me anyway. I am beloved by God. Now and forever. So are you, my friends. So are you.
Dear God, thank you for showing me the path to accepting your love for me. Help me trust you continually and rest in the security of it. I will never be able to understand even a portion of your love, my job is to trust you completely, which means trusting your love for someone as broken as me. What a blessing that is. Amen.