I’m frustrated today.
My new job is really testing me and I’m afraid I’m not being nearly as Christ-like as I’d like to be.
I’ve been listening to a cool feed I found on YouTube of music to keep my heart smiling but it’s not working as well as I’d like.
After fussing at myself for a while, I believe the source of my irritation is today’s lesson on the “Pray As You Go” app.
(Stephen said) “You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Was there ever a prophet your ancestors did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him— you who have received the law that was given through angels but have not obeyed it.”
When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.
While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep. (KK note: not really asleep, btw. He died.)
And Saul approved of their killing him.
On that day a great persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off both men and women and put them in prison.
Acts 7:51 – 8:3
The narrator asked me to think of those Christians who have inspired me.
But I keep thinking that stoning is a really horrid way to die.
The narrator asked me to think of how I would handle hearing the truth in that way.
But I keep thinking of people who claim that they are just “being honest” and how much pain that can cause others.
I’m struggling lately, my friends. Not with my faith. Not with God. Not with Jesus. I am not doubting any of that.
I’m struggling with the pain around us. The pain caused by people who say they are Christians but do things that I believe with all my soul that Jesus would be appalled by. How do you reconcile that? I’m doing my best to be the best me I can be – to not gossip, swear, or let myself dwell on the negative. But more and more it seems like that’s all I see.
There is so much out there to divide us – how do you focus on what unites us?
I understand that Stephen was frustrated.
… *dawning realization comes over our heroine* …
So am I but for very boring and mundane reasons. And that right there puts my worries in perspective rather nicely, don’t you think?
Thank you, Lord, for all you’ve done. Thank you for helping me see that the frustration I feel is small and insignificant compared to a man standing strong to tell the people the truth of God and Jesus – even at the cost of his own life. And help me see the good and not the ugly. There will always be ugliness – my job is to bring light and joy with me wherever I go. Thank you for reminding me of that. Amen.