Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you. (Psalm 84:12)
The other day I had a realization. After I left radio at the end of 2015, I floundered looking for direction in my life. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I searched for jobs in vain. I struggled with life itself. Depression weighed me down. My life was a mess. To top it off, I wasn’t sure what I was doing spiritually. I was still a heathen at the time and quite honestly, I was lost.
When I look back at that time I am amazed that I kept going. I focused on my children, my friends, and my family – knowing they loved me helped me push through during that dark time.
Then in November of 2017, I turned my life back to Jesus. He welcomed me with open arms. Miraculously, my life started coming together. In March of 2018 I landed a job in the field I had studied before I had my youngest child – a field I hadn’t studied or worked in since he was born. I was given endless opportunities for growth. I am supported and encouraged in my new job. I have my own place. I see a future before me that I never could have imagined. Was that because of God? I could say no. I’d been taking online courses to get back into IT. I’d been using my IT skills at my old job to brush up my resume. I hadn’t been sitting idle, waiting for a deity to fix my life. But I’ve never been a woman who believes in coincidence. I believe completely that there is always a purpose or meaning in the things that happen to us.
In my case I believe with everything in my heart and soul that GOD happened. That turning my life back to God changed everything.
I’d been afraid. I’d been lost. I’d been wandering in my own metaphorical desert for 40 days and 40 nights (in my case more like 30 years!) Turning back to Jesus gave me courage. Gave me strength. I’m not alone. I’ve never been alone – He’s been waiting for me this whole time!
I’ve told people that turning my life over to Jesus doesn’t mean everything is suddenly ok. But the realization that everything started to come together and move forward in a positive direction once I allowed Him back in is earth shattering for me.
I was listening to a sermon by one of the pastors in our church and she said something that struck a chord in me. She spoke about a blind man, Lex Gillette, who is a gold medalist in the long jump at the Special Olympics. This completely blind man runs 80 yards then jumps in the air and lands 6.77 meters away. How does he do it? With the help of his coach who stands at the end line, where he’s supposed to jump. The coach claps his hands and calls out to him. Lex runs towards him with all he has. Our pastor said “Can you imagine running like that? When you are most afraid that’s when you should run towards Jesus with all you have!”
I want to spend the rest of my life running towards Jesus. Every moment of every day. Because of His Grace, I’ve been given more opportunities than I could have imagined on my own. That’s no coincidence. That’s God. That’s the greatest blessing of all.
Thank you, Jesus, for giving me strength to change my life. Thank you for all these amazing blessings. You are incredible and mighty. Thank you for your grace and love. Help me keep running towards you with all I am and all I have. Amen.