I’ve had a hard time this week. Not only have I been sick, I started a new job. So I’m not braining too well.
I know that even when I’m out of sorts I should be sticking with my routine though, so I’ve been doing my daily reading/bible study.
Those daily readings have not been as much of a comfort as they were. There are a couple of things that are, frankly, getting on my nerves.
The first is the obsession with the Psalms. I get it, they are lovely. They are simple and easy to read and generally are very “yay God” focused. But good grief, I had one daily reading that was 4 fricking Psalms in a row. Nothing at all from the New Testament.
The second is tied to how I resolved my frustration with “read all the Psalms” – I picked up my bible and started reading on my own. Just a chapter or two of something (anything) from the New Testament.
That didn’t help.
As I read parts of the New Testament, parts that I love, parts about God’s love and joy and grace, I felt frustrated.
When I turn on the news, it’s all about people who seem to be filled with hate for others.
When I log onto Facebook, it’s filled with posts insulting or demeaning others. (From both sides of the fence.)
I’m not angry with God. I don’t doubt God. But at times like this, when I’m not feeling 100% and finding joy is difficult, I question what I can do to make a difference.
So many people are angry and hurting. I don’t doubt that their pain is valid and true. Obviously I can’t help them. Or force them to get help. But I wish I could help. I wish I could help them see how important and wonderful they are.
*sigh*
Lord, help me be a light for others. Help me reflect your joy and love back onto a world that is hurting right now. Help me be true in the face of so much anger and division. You are so awesome, God. Help me focus on that, please. Amen.