“It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;
He knows what is in the darkness,
And the light dwells with Him. (Daniel 2:22)
My landlord decided to put a deck on the house this summer. The deck is just off the back door – which I and my neighbor use to get to our cars in the driveway. He didn’t make it of wood, instead he used an inexpensive composite material that is rather slick when it’s wet. I was dreading the winter because I knew it would be even worse when covered in snow or ice.
I wasn’t wrong. We had quite a substantial snowfall this week and the hardest part for us was clearing the deck. I have spent more time this week cursing my landlord and the deck than I like to admit. This morning it was even worse than it’s been – there was a light film of ice on it and the broom didn’t work so I threw salt (literally, friends. I was so angry I threw the salt all over) and used the front door to get to my car and head out to run a few errands. When I came home, the salt had barely worked and I was even more angry than I’d been. I trekked to the front door again, cursing my landlord and that dang deck every step of the way.
I grumbled and grumbled at my son about it until finally he said, “Mom, you just need to accept the deck. Embrace the deck. Love the deck, mom. Love the deck.” We both laughed at what he said but it was the perfect thing to pull me out of my anger.
I needed the reminder that if the only thing I have to complain about is a slick deck, then I’m very blessed. I had a choice – to find a solution to the issue or not. Instead of finding a solution, I chose to be angry about it. (Admission: one of my dear friends actually recommended a solution to me and I didn’t want to even listen to it at first!)
I’ve talked a lot about anger and how it keeps us from God – and this was no exception. A silly deck was keeping me from being close to God.
I know that many times anger comes from a place of fear. I am absolutely terrified of falling and hurting my knee again or worse. That fear came out as anger towards my landlord and the deck.
I found there was more darkness around me this week – and it was related to my fear about the deck. I was down in the dumps, angry at the world, and even spent time crying about…well….everything. I had a hard time praying and had to push through my depression to pull out my bible for quiet time with Him every morning.
I now see that my fear about the deck bled into my whole life and into my heart. My fear was keeping me from God’s light and love . I was surrounded by darkness, friends.
I’ve decided that I’m going to spend every second I’m out there sweeping the deck praising God instead of letting my fear control me. I’m so grateful to my son for helping me remember that God’s light is greater than any darkness around me – even a slippery deck.
Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. (Psalm 145:3)